On Saying Goodbye

I'm sitting here blogging one last time in what doesn't really look like our flat anymore, before unplugging, packing our computer, and placing it in the pile of things I don't want things stacked on.

...and I'm feeling a bit emotional.

Blogs are used in a range of ways, often unleashing the would-be journalist, the reporter, the contemplative, the theologian, or the philosopher hidden inside the blogger. Sometimes I even write as if there's an internal monologue tracking with hip theme music. This entry will undoubtedly be reflective of the four years Jasheen and I have spent in the only home we have known as a married couple... and the one each of us have lived in for the longest stretch of time... ever.

We both grew up moving around a lot. Our journeys have taken us from Singapore to London to California to Germany to Arizona to Australia, and finally, to Glasgow, Scotland. Between the two of us, we've lived on four of the seven continents, and saying goodbye to each place has never been easy.

Jasheen and I began our married life in this flat four years ago. We've welcomed two additions to our family (Gabrielle & Isabelle), hosted people who have become life-long friends, led leadership, and marriage classes, hosted jewelry launch parties, youth clubs, movie nights, Super Bowls, tea parties, Thanksgiving dinners, Christmas' and birthday parties for literally hundreds of people. We've experienced some of our highest highs and our lowest lows in this flat. We've been a part of discoveries, heartbreaks, celebrations and failures in this flat. We've watched two seasons of Heroes, four seasons of 24, and are in our fourth season of Prison Break in this flat.

And if it were the right choice for our family, we'd stay. We love our flat. It's been perfectly situated in the west end of Glasgow to be right in the middle of where LIFE happens. But as our girls are growing, other needs are superceding this prime location. For one, we're situated on a main road running through the heart of the west end - not ideal for two toddlers eager to run instead of riding passively in the stroller.

We discovered our new flat by chance. I was over at my friend an colleague's flat and noticed that the door downstairs from them was open. Some men were working inside and the flat has been uninhabited for more than a year. I snuck in to take a peak and liked what I saw. In addition to being much closer to my teammates, the flat has a front yard for our girls to play safely in away from constant traffic. It's not as ideally located as the one we've been in, but as I said... new priorities.

While we won't be welcoming any new arrivals to the family in the new flat, we're confident that many new and cherished memories await us.

But still... saying goodbye to the only home our girls have ever known; to our friends and neighbors whom we have grown quite fond of; and to corner shops, pubs, parks and coffee shops, is going to be hard... even though we're only a 12-15 minute walk away.

We've grown so much in this flat, as a family, spiritually, maritally, emotionally, and socially. One of the byproducts of being third-culture-kids is that we love new beginnings, new adventures and new settings.

...but still, saying goodbye is hard.

Busy... No, Full Week

I won't say it was the busiest week we've ever had, but this past week was the fullest we've had in a long time. I make the distinction because there's a difference between busy and full. Busyness is often a self-induced state; a byproduct of poor scheduling and time management. Fullness, on the other hand, is complete, rich, gratifying, productive.
Although the week was physically, spiritually and emotionally draining, it was also life-giving.

The backdrop of our week is set against preparing for and taking the Life in the UK test that is a prerequisite when applying for permanent residence. Having been here for five years now, we're eligible to apply for permanent residence which will allow me to find part-time work in the marketplace, fostering a deeper connection with locals, as well as providing financial stability for our family. One of the reasons that this is a critical step in our ministry, is that permanent residence is the last step before gaining British citizenship, and by becoming British citizens, we will also be gaining European Union (EU) citizenship. This would allow us to move into countries that are becoming more difficult for church-planting missionaries to move into should the Lord lead that direction in the future.

All of this to say, Jasheen and I both passed the 24-question True/False - Either/Or - Multiple Choice test. The test itself wasn't so difficult, but preparing for it was the primary contributor to our full and draining week. Unlike students that have time allotted for studying, we have our regularly scheduled week that we have to incorporate study-time into.

Throw in a friend visiting from the States, a friend moving down to London this week, and the start of Mosaic's youth group ministry, and that's a recipe for very little sleep. My friend Sharon (former Westmont classmate) was visiting her parents here for a couple of weeks. And our good friend and babysitter (one of the few that refuses payment) from Kember & Jones, Becca, is heading down to London to attend Uni - that's the second K&J pal we're losing in as many months. (For those of you unfamiliar with Kember & Jones, it's our favorite little patisserie/food emporium around the corner). Anyway, between quality time with Sharon and Becca, attending Becca's going away party with her work colleagues, and hosting a youth group pizza & movie kickoff... not to mention squeezing studies into our already chaotic schedule(s)... we had a VERY... FULL... WEEK.

Pub Theology

You may notice from the On My Nightstand list that I'm reading a couple of new books. It's only coincidence that they're both positioned as 'letters.' Before anyone starts worrying... yes, Letter to a Christian Nation is written by popular philosopher/atheist, Sam Harris. I've been getting together with a guy in my neighborhood lately and discussing faith, religion(s), God/Jesus, and the universe. This certainly isn't a book that I would have pushed to the top of my To Read list, but in the interest of connecting with him where he's at, and furthering the ongoing conversation, I agreed to check it out.
He and I usually get together at the pub down on the corner and share our stories, views and experiences over a pint. Before I moved here five years ago, a friend who'd been a missionary to Scotland for seven years told me that if I wanted to connect with people here I needed to engage the pub culture. So I have been. And to my utter dismay... my fun, relational, fraternal time down at the pub has been hijacked by deep theological conversations lately. Oh wait... that was the idea.

The last few times I've been down at the pub with some guys I get together with weekly, I have been taken aside for some pretty intense chat. I was speaking with one guy that currently lives and works in Africa who shared passionately how much he would love to believe all that I was saying and all that he's heard, but he just can't get past the way he has experienced Christians living/behaving... especially missionaries.
The next guy that cornered me just couldn't get his head around a God that was supposedly "merciful," yet says that 'all these people over here are going to hell.'
And yet another guy had issues with Jesus' claims to be the son of God.

Our conversations generally center around rugby, kids and work, but I found myself fielding the toughest (most common) issues the world has with Christianity: Christians, justice and Jesus. It's taken a long time for the conversations to turn to these topics, but I've discovered that I've grown into the role of the pastor they reference for all their queries and doubts.

I really do enjoy the lighthearted boys-night-out atmosphere that we typically have on a Tuesday night down at the pub, but at the same time, I am incredibly encouraged that these times are becoming seasoned with more depth and authenticity.

There and Back Again: Thoughts and Reflection from Glasgow to Hungary

There's nothing like returning home from a week away to the shrieks and squeals of, "Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy!!!" This was a first for me as I recently returned from Christian Associates' CONNECT conference in Sopron, Hungary.
But perhaps I'm getting a little ahead of myself. In the past six weeks I've been commissioned as a pastor at Mosaic, operated on twice, and in Hungary for the conference... and it looks as though things are just starting to get busy.

I've been extended the honor of serving as the shepherding pastor in Mosaic. What exactly does this mean? Are we one of those churches that has a different "pastor" for every area of ministry? No (not that there's anything wrong with that). It simply means that I will be living out my passion, gifting and calling in a leadership role within our missional community. Being a pastor has never been an ambition of mine. Nor is it something that I thought I was coming to Glasgow to do. However, after further reflection, it is precisely what I'm here to do... or more accurately, to be.
A pastor isn't a pastor because of his/her title. And many without the title are, indeed, pastors. There are those that serve as preachers and teachers, or as healers, prophets or servants. And there are those that serve as shepherds. Shepherds exhort, disciple, equip, coach, mourn, lead, etc.
There is one thing that's been confirmed amidst the peeks and valleys of a tumultuous five years in ministry here: People Need Jesus. I need Him. You need Him. Everyone we know needs Him. Whether I have been exalted or maligned, excommunicated or embraced, celebrated or vilified, depressed or encouraged, mocked or respected, isolated or enfolded, accepted or rejected, abandoned or surrounded; the one thing that I can honestly say has kept my eyes forward, is the simple truth that I want everyone I know to know Jesus, or to know Him better.
My (new) title doesn't define me. On the contrary, I hope and pray to live up to what it means to shepherd the people God entrusts to me.

The CONNECT conference in Hungary is the first staff conference I've attended since joining CAI just over a year ago... and it was amazing! With speakers like Greg Boyd (Sr. pastor, Woodland Hills Church, St. Paul, MN) and Alan & Deb Hirsch, how could it not be?
There were so many highlights from the conference, but I think I'll touch on just a few... for now.
One of the best things about my experience was connecting with people doing what I'm doing, but in different parts of the world. In Scotland, it's easy to feel removed at times. We're on an island. We're in a relatively small, humble country. We have a growing, yet small church community. And we are breaking new ground in the areas of church-life and missional living. Sometimes, it feels like we're downright alone. But it was encouraging to get to know and hear the stories, trials, and victories that other teams are experiencing in Paris, Lisbon, Amsterdam, and Brussels (to name a few). I was both ministered to, as well as having the opportunity to share some insight and experience with teams going through some typical team dysfunctions. Hey, the Lord redeems even life's toughest experiences.

Another cool (and somewhat surreal) experience happened during a commissioning ceremony held for all of us new to staff in the past year. A couple of years ago I was assigning a book by Alan Hirsch to a group of young leaders. On this night, I was standing next to Alan Hirsch and his lovely bride, Deb, as we were being commissioned. What a trip!

I can't express how at home I felt among the staff at CONNECT. Although there are people of all ages on staff, it has a very young and energetic vibe. It's a group full of explorers, adventurers and risk-takers.

The next few months are as busy as these past two... if not more so. I have a Coaching Leaders Workshop to attend in Geneva in late September, as well as Field Orientation to attend for Christian Associates in the Hague in early October. And these trips fall just prior to our family moving flats. Hectic times call for fervent prayer.