To Münster, with... love?

As departure time for an upcoming trip draws nearer and nearer, life begins to blur a bit; tunnel vision sets in; anxiety flares; lists are made and items are checked off; and then ultimately, after staying up for two hours longer than you should’ve, nothing else exists in the world except for leaving on time, and remembering to bring everything.

That’s about the time that I start playing a little game that has developed over the course of my extensive travel experience (I’m not boasting. My parents live in the U.S. and Jasheen’s parents live in Singapore.; We have to travel to a staff conference once a year that’s typically somewhere that’s not Britain; we have good friends in different parts of Europe that we can usually get to for pretty inexpensive airfare – like £0.01 sometimes – all that to say, we have a lot of stamps in our passports). Anyway, as I was saying… It’s about that time that I start playing a little game called, “How far into the trip will we get before I come completely unglued and make Jasheen revisit her reasons for marrying me.” It’s not nearly as fun as it sounds.

Before I share at which point in our travels the wheels came off, I’ll just detail the outbound leg of our journey:

· Taxi (from home to Glasgow Central Train Station – 10min)

· Train (from Glasgow to Prestwick Airport – 45min)

· Airplane (Glasgow/Prestwick to Frankfurt – 1 hr 30min)

· Foot (Frankfurt-Hahn Airport to My Place hotel – 20min)

· SLEEP – 5 hrs

· Car (Frankfurt to Münster – 3 hrs 11min – not including stops)

This journey began at about 5.30p on Tuesday evening and commenced at about 4.30p on Wednesday afternoon. And in case you’re wondering, we wash, rinse and repeat on Saturday – yippee. To be fair, our little girls were amazing. I mean, amazing in the way that makes you look at your kids, then look at your spouse, then look back at your kids, then look straight at the audience and ask in external narrative, “who are they and what have they done with my kids?”

(Right before we left the flat, I jumped on the computer and frantically sent out an email to our beloved eNewsletter list requesting prayer for the conference we’re at, and travel mercies for our girls – who typically are NOT good travelers. It wasn’t very far into the trip that I noticed that people had responded. The way Gabrielle and Isabelle held up on the journey is inexplicable apart from being bathed in prayer.)

Ok.. so now that you know the timeline of the trip, we can get back to where this all started, my fun little game. I won’t keep you in suspense any longer. I left the flat feeling surprisingly good considering the upcoming journey that lay ahead. Jasheen even made a point to say, “Wow, you’re relatively relaxed,” something that was clearly uncharacteristic. And I felt good. What could go wrong?

When we arrived at Glasgow Central and were about 30 yards into the station, Jasheen exclaimed, “Oh! I don’t have my license!!!” (for the record, this is the point in the trip where my little game ended – I made it about 15 minutes into the journey) The license she was referring to was her driver’s license; the driver’s license that we would need in order to collect the rental car because we rented the car in her name since my license is expired; the driver’s license that was, at that moment, in her purse at home behind our locked front door. And there wasn’t enough time to return home, get the license and get back to the station to catch our train.

“Seriously,” I asked, “you don’t have it???” I wasn’t angry at Jasheen, let’s get that straight right off. I began to play out the potential scenarios of how this could effect our trip, none of which ended with us actually getting the car. So with the first leg of our trip done and dusted (the taxi), I launch with this zinger, “I’m honestly considering punting the trip and just going home.” Jasheen’s eyes got really big, but not in that ecstatic, you-just-gave-me-a-diamond-ring kind of big… more like that, I-know-donkeys-with-more-sense-and-class-than-you kind of big. And at that point I had effectively ruined Jasheen’s trip until around the time we landed in Germany. It’s a gift.

Needless to say, we carried on with our trip with the plan that we hoped the person at the rental car desk simply wouldn’t notice that my license expired in 2007. No such luck. After spending the night in Frankfurt, we proceeded to the car rental desk… and after being denied we were once again faced with the option to return home early.

Having assessed our options, Mike and Carol Kurtyka, whom we were traveling with, offered to rent the car with one of them as the driver. Problem solved. Reflecting back on the journey, I can’t help but review the trip in Billy Joel style, a la We Didn’t Start the fire fashion:

Got a taxi, Got a train,

Forgot a license, went insane,

Caught the airplane, Ryan Air,

Walked to hotel, didn't care

Gabrielle wet the bed,

Jasheen started seeing red

Tried to rent a car, got blanked

Thought the trip had finally tanked

Carol drove, Sophie chucked

Now our trip was really… well, not that bad.

Arrived in Münster half past four

Room was on the 2nd floor,

Now we’re here, where we belong

Traveled safe, but a bit too long.

Can’t rent a car you liar!

Your license is expired

Your ruse is oh so tired.

Well, we're here... in the land of bier, schnitzel, bratwurst, and the autobahn. It's so great to be back in Germany after so long. I revisited Munich in 1990 after returning to the States in 1989, but have long waited to return. Two more days and then we're back to Glasgow. Can't to see what adventure that brings!

Something from this past Sunday

St. Ignatius of Loyola's Examen

The Examen traditionally has five steps:

1. Recall you are in the presence of God. No matter where you are, you are a creature in the midst of creation and the Creator who called you forth is concerned for you.

2. Give thanks to God for favours received. Pause and spend a moment looking at this day's gifts. Take stock of what you received and gave. Notice these clues that guide living.

3. Ask for awareness of the Holy Spirit's aid. Before you explore the mystery of the human heart, ask to receive the Holy Spirit so that you can look upon your actions and motives with honesty and patience. The Spirit gives a freedom to look upon yourself without condemnation and without complacency and thus be open to growth.

4. Now examine how you are living this day. Recalling the events of your day, explore the context of your actions. Review the day, hour by hour, searching for the internal events of your life. Look through the hours to see your interaction with what was before you. Ask what you were involved in and who you were with, and review your hopes and hesitations. What moved you to act the way you did?

5. Pray words of reconciliation and resolve. Having reviewed this day of your life, look upon yourself with compassion and see your need for God and try to realize God's manifestations of concern for you. Express sorrow for sin, give thanks for grace, and praise God for the times you responded in ways that allowed you to better see God's life.

Online Catharsis

Purging My Emotions Regarding Online Absence

I don't know why it's been so difficult to maintain my blog. Of course, life is busy, but I used to find the time to sit down and type out my thoughts and experiences, and keep people relatively up to date with what was going on with the McKenzie Clan.

I have had so many things I've wanted to share on this blog, from... blogging to facebook; from family sickness (I have a throat infection and both girls have chicken pox in varied stages) to pub theology; from books I've read, to ministering in a pluralistic society; from missional community to intimacy with Jesus; from homosexual ministers to dialoguing with Mormons.

The thing about blogging though, is that if you don't do it in a timely manner, the potency of the moment is kind of lost, and then it's just a process of recapturing the moment and manufacturing an appropriate level of passion for whatever that particular subject or experience was. I suppose a blog could be a simple report on what's going on... but seriously (and I'm not being cynical), very few people's lives are really interesting enough to chronicle daily, or even weekly, accounts of what's happening in, to or around them.

Which brings me to my next point. I've begun to see blogging, like facebook, MySpace, online journaling and personal profiles, as another extension of the social networking phenomena that is sweeping... nay... has swept the planet, that really amounts to nothing more than a serious case of global narcissism. We create entire online personas of ourselves - profile pictures, interests and activities, friends lists, favorites lists - all carefully and strategically thought out to showcase to the world the very best version of ourselves; the best looking; the most spiritual; the most interesting.

I was reading in Adbusters Magazine a few months ago about a person who decided to commit 'facebook suicide' (delete their account). Ironically, the decision came about as they were trying to enhance their profile. They were looking for a new, clever quote that would show depth and introspection, when they came across a quote from Aristotle on a quotes website:

"We are what we repeatedly do."

What then are we? If all of our time is spent changing our profile pictures on facebook, thinking of clever status updates for facebook, checking our profile pages multiple times in a day to see if anyone has commented or responded to our most recent posts, is this what we are? People who revisit their own thoughts and images for hours each day? Have we become the most narcissistic people the world has ever known? The most voyeuristic? The most egotistic?

(click on link to examine this question further)

Now consider this cultural trend of self-obsession in light of missionaries. A big part of a missionary's ministry is "donor relations," the job of keeping up with and maintaining communication with one's support base. But I've discovered that my recent view of online personas has permeated my view of missionary personas, as well. On our websites, blogs and in newsletters, we too can create the best versions of ourselves. Missionaries are often compelled to sensationalize their ministry experiences or random encounters with people in their neighborhoods or in coffee shops - making them sound more dynamic than the lives of the 'normal' people that support our ministries. We may feel the need to create context or share statistics such as, "Glasgow is the most violent city in western Europe," and "Two of Europe's 10 worst neighborhoods are in Glasgow." These are true statements, but I don't know many people other than missionaries who discuss that kind of data... in newsletters and on blogs.

I guess what I'm saying is that, in the same way that I grew tired of constantly enhancing the online version of myself, I grew tired of enhancing the missionary version of myself, too. Yes, I'm one of the pastors of a church-plant, but to be honest with you, I really don't feel much like a missionary at all. I feel kind of like a guy that has been blessed with enough time during the week to reach out and share God with as many people as I can; to meet people where they're at and when they're available to talk about their spiritual journey; to process through pain and loss with folks at any given time of day or night.

I guess I just got tired of sensationalizing those encounters and exploiting the people involved. So I kind of stopped writing newsletters or blogging about daily life encounters. I'm certainly not saying that was the answer. I feel I've done a grave injustice to my donors and a disservice to my family by not communicating more regularly with supporters. I guess I'm just recognizing how the self-obsessed online culture has affected me over time and how I'm trying to gain proper perspective in how to balance the good with the bad

...because there is good...

For all the pitfalls and delusions of connection that accompanies facebook, there is, indeed, a positive side to all of it, too. Facebook is a remarkable tool for reconnecting you with people you may have otherwise lost touch with forever... especially those people you lost touch with before the days of email and the internet. I have found or been found by friends I lost touch with 20+ years ago when I moved from Munich, Germany to California. I may never have rekindled those friendships if not for facebook. Now I may have the opportunity to visit some of those old friends in Munich this summer when I'm scheduled to attend a conference in Muenster.

Being a third-culture kid living away from friends and family in the U.S., I'm also able to stay connected with people better through facebook than if I relied on the telephone or email. And thankfully, I haven't had any of those awkward or inappropriate online reunions with girlfriends-past. Probably the worst thing I do on facebook is brag about my kids through pictures. I love posting picture updates of my girls. I think they're beautiful and so naturally, I assume that everyone else will, too. It's sort of like, "Look what I made!!!"

To be honest, I expected to do a mini-rundown on what's gone on with us these last few months, and what's going on with us for the next few (how funny is that?), but it sort of turned into this cathartic process of understanding and describing why I've struggled to write newsletters or blog posts for the past six months.

I'll keep trying to do better... while maintaining journalistic integrity and respect for the people I encounter every day.

Definition of the New Testament experience of church (ekklesia)

Organic church life is profoundly simple yet endlessly complicated. It satisfies the deepest longings of the human spirit but frustrates the soul and bids death to the flesh. It’s at the same time rewarding and maddening–it is without a doubt the greatest spiritual experience a mortal can know. Why? Simply because God has chosen the ekklesia in her organic expression to reveal the glories and the riches of His beloved Son, the Lord Jesus Christ, and to bring to this earth the fellowship that exists within the Trinity.

-Frank Viola